Baby Baby Baby

Meet Adhama, the San Diego Zoo's newest baby river hippo. He was born January 26, 2011 and has gotten a lot of attention since. This cutie has served as one of my distractions through out the year. I've added Adhama and the Zoo visits to my Operation Smile goals.  A friend recently reminded my to keep doing things that I love, that make me happy and make me smile.

Anyway I have spent quite some time watching Adhama and his mama swim around, interact, and display a true mother/baby bond. I love it, and I crave that so very much.

I've been doing pretty good these last couple of days and have not thought about my circumstances as much - but then again around this time of my cycle I usually feel like this.

Not temping or using OPK's has been quite liberating. I know my body well enough to read its signs and symptoms so even if I'm not technically keeping track I pretty much know what's going on. I assume that I have ovulated since I saw EWCM a couple of days ago and got the usual ovulation pain. We will see. Like every other month I say I don't get my hopes up but I really do and then when AF comes I'm devastated.

We got back from the Bay Area Sunday evening. That 8-hour drive felt like it took forever. Since we were all over the place with all kinds of weather I think it may have affected us since we both woke up this morning feeling sick and with a little tingle in our throats. Could be allergies but they haven't gone away yet like they usually do. Don't want to be sick! I haven't been sick with anything in over two years. Maybe it's time . . . but still!

On another note during our trip home I was able to spend some time with my four year old little cousin. I loved it. We don't have any family members where we currently live so being able to interact with family, specially the little ones is very exciting to me. My aunt let me take care of her for a day and holy moly am I inexperienced. She's currently being potty trained so I was on her like every hour to go to the bathroom. Well when I put her down for her nap it never crossed my mind that she wouldn't be able to control going in her sleep! So I found her crying all wet! She had soaked the bed. Oh my goodness I felt terrible and like such a failure! Then she wasn't really eating much she kept sneezing. Anyway I realized that as prepared as I feel in becoming a mother I'll have a lot to learn and look forward too. Among my mess ups that day I loved spending time with the little one and watching her fall asleep. That's priceless to me.

In other news . . . 9/11 what a difficult and sad day. I try to not watch too much coverage because all of that makes me so sad. I'm already sad on my own don't need more to add to it. BUT it's hard to avoid watching when every other channel had something about 9/11 on. I ended up watching this one segment on the children of 9/11 - all of the kids born without fathers because they passed away that day. Okay bring on the tears, they got me real good.

The other one was the interview of one of the wives of a passenger who was on the flight that crashed in Pennsylvania. She was describing how she was watching the coverage worried about her husband and the phone rang. Her mother picked it up and it was her husband. Her mother was excited to hear him and that he was safe. Then she said her mother's face dropped all color and she passed her the phone. That's when he told her he was on a hijacked plane and that they spent the next couple of minutes saying their goodbyes. Now that has to be one of the hardest things to go through. Knowing your loved one has minutes to live and you cannot do absolutely anything. SO SO sad.

That was just another reminder to appreciate everything I have in my life right now and focus on that.


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